For sex, parodies, and laughs, let's recruit Esdeath into Night Raid!
by Uncle.Dragon
Summary: Not intended for weabs and minor audiences.


"There's a sweet clearance sale right now!"

With arms opened wide, Kurome ran out the door screaming "Gotta catch them all!" in monotone.

With the majority of the Jeagers dead, Wave out patrolling the borders and Kurome gone, Esdeath dug through Prime Minister Honest's closet till she found a spare Teigu that was supposedly destroyed by Wild Hunt–

Dimesional Formation: Shambhala

"I'm going to watch Tatsumi take a bath."

* * *

Esdeath's thought opened the portal, and somehow managed to warp herself inside the bathhouse of Night Raid's hideout, but was disappointed to find it too early; there is no one in sight.

Esdeah thought to herself, "Rats, I think I should wait for him. At least I know where Night Raid is hiding, I could bring an entire company or something..."

* * *

Esdeath almost fell asleep inside a barrel before she heard the door opening, she blushed when she saw her cute Tatsumi in his muscular, naked glory. Esdeath stared at the boy's chest muscles and his equally cute bottom, trying her hardest to resist squeezing them.

She remained inside the barrel whole 30 minutes, before opening the barrel lid after Tatsumi left.

"That was fun."

"What was fun?"

Esdeath moved her hand to grip her sword as she found herself caught by Akame, wrapped in a towel.

"Did you see me?"

Akame stared at her.

"I was bathing at the other side when I sensed something dirty," Akame explained, "...even if it was Rabac, the results would have been the same. I sent Murasame to the repair shop, lucky for you, Esdeath."

Esdeath lets out a sigh of boredom.

"...so I will let _Tatsumi _decide what to do with you. Go ahead and try to kill all of us, I will just tell my sister that her general is a peeping tom."

Esdeath now gaped in horror and embarrassment, uncharacteristically dropping her sword.

* * *

Tatsumi showed up at the Interrogation Room an hour later, visibly quite shocked that their most dreaded enemy had just thrown herself inside the enemy camp to peek at his bathing session.

"...Should I start now?"

Esdeath stared at him with very angelic eyes and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Akame told me everything, you pervert!"

"How did she find out?" Esdeath said with such sarcasm (enough to prove that this is a parody).

"I... heard you came... 5 minutes before I got out..."

"I'm sorry" Esdeath apologized in her embarrassment.

Tatsumi still glared at her and said,

"Sorry is not enough, we are going to punish you!"

Tatsumi, having mustered enough Virgin Power (as quoted by Rabac) ordered in his loudest voice, "Pull your skirt down, pervert!"

Esdeath forces her eager grin down to a frown in much vain.

"I refuse."

Tatsumi walked behind her and swatted her on the butt before saying, "Do as I say! Darn you!"

Esdeath gleefully gave up and pulled her skirt down.

"Underwear down as well!" Tatsumi ordered next.

A blushing Esdeath played along as she plead, "I'm really sorry!"

The out of control Tatsumi became inpatient and grabbed her blue and white silk panty in fancy frills.

Esdeath pretended to scream in horror, "What do you think you are doing!?"

Tatsumi grew impatient and lets his libido do the talking as he pushed Esdeath down to his lap.

Esdeath started kicking half-heartedly and cried, "Let me go!" as she felt her panty getting pulled down.

Tatsumi glared at Esdeath's naked butt as he declares, "Get ready for your lesson!" as he landed the first slap, Esdeath gasped both in pain and estascy, "Ow!''

"Don't you, ever, peek at, me, ever, again!" Tatsumi stops with intervals to spank as he talked.

"Ok...! I won't...!"

"How many times, have you done this?"

"Fourth time...! ahh...! this week...!"

Tatsumi stopped talking and increased his speed for around five minutes.

* * *

"...How much more...?" Esdeath, crying in pain and joy, asked in an exhausted tone.

Tatsumi stared at her backside and replied, "Your butt has just started becoming purple, and your juices are all over my clean clothes... YOU WANT ME GETTING INTO TROUBLE WITH THE REST?!"

Esdeath started kicking and screamed in pain, "Yaaaahnnn! Please stop!"

Tatsumi didn't stop.

"Why did, you, do this?"

Esdeath felt embarrassed even more and answered, "I don't! Ahn! Want to answer! Ahahn! that!"

"Tell me! or I'll, hit you, IN INCURSIO!"

Esdeath could not take the pain anymore and lets out an uncontrollable flow of vaginal juice, Tatsumi felt her orgasm but didn't want to ask her about it in order to embarrass her as he continued spanking, "Answer!"

"Cause I like your butt, it's really cute!" Esdeath, managed to scream those words, gasping for air, out of her mouth, with what little strength she had left.

Tatsumi then finally stops his hand.

"What... happened?" Esdeath stared at him in shock and asked.

"Do you know that peeking in my bathroom is invading my privacy?"

"...I do." Esdeath understood his point.

"How would you feel like if I peeked on you while you took a shower?"

Esdeath's hormones interfered as she answers, "...I would feel good, since it's you."

Tatsumi got mad at her and gives Esdeath another stinging smack.

Esdeath added on hastily in pain, "...I would feel uncomfortable if it's not you!"

Tatsumi looked at her and grimly as said to Esdeath,

"Promise me you won't ever stare at me again."

Esdeath agreed, "...I promise...!"

Tatsumi pushed Esdeath off to the wet floor, got up and said, "...Now take off your clothes."

Tatsumi tore off his wet upper clothes next, "...my turn."

Tatsumi walked towards her and squats down, "...after this you will be working for Night Raid, you get my penis and spanking, and you would also get to fight lots and lots of opponents..."

"So... this is what it's all about? A recruitment drive?"

"You have a problem?" Tatsumi opened the door to Esdeath's most desired part of his body.

The then fully turned on Esdeath crawls up to the 'door', "Not at all, let's go."

* * *

...and so Esdeath essentially replaced all the dead members of Night Raid, killed the Prime Minister and helped make Teito a much happier place.


End file.
